Sexmp3

In conversations with non-Christian friends, one of the commonest objections to Christianity I have come across is, “But what’s wrong with sex before marriage?” It’s always struck me as slightly baffling that of all the questions about the Christian faith they could raise, this one should be so high up on their agenda. Admittedly a lot of these conversations took place in the context of the university bar, but I don’t think this is an issue just affecting younger people – many adults investigating Christianity later in life also stumble over the Christian attitude to sex. Perhaps this is because in a society where sex outside of marriage is increasingly seen as the norm, the idea of waiting really does seem impossible.

Guidelines issued by the Department for Children, Schools and Families for sex education state that “children should be taught about the nature of marriage and its importance for family life.” So far so good. They also state that given the soaring number of teenage pregnancies and STDs, “It is appropriate for secondary schools to provide education about contraception.” And I fully agree with them – but what frustrates me is that although the guidelines suggest that teaching about the benefits of delaying sexual activity are appropriate, they don’t go as far as to say this could mean saving sex for marriage.

So what has interested me this week is that the Family Education Trust have published a leaflet entitled, “Why Save Sex?” which they are distributing to secondary schools around the country. Even more surprising perhaps is that this organisation does not work from any religious or political foundation but base their publications entirely on independent research. What they are proposing is that saving sex for marriage makes sense based on medical and social research and that it is actually a realistic option. In a week where David Cameron has highlighted the problems associated with consent, this kind of message is even more important.

The leaflet spells out four good reasons for waiting: because it’s healthy, especially in light of the rise of STDs; because it’s the best setting in which to bring children into the world; because it leads to a more trusting marriage and because it means you’ll set out on married life with nothing to hide. These principles would seem to quash objections non-Christians often raise about saving sex for marriage such as “God is just out to be a kill-joy,” or, “It was relevant for that culture but it’s not relevant for us now.” Instead, the leaflet is based on concrete facts about health, marriage and family. Furthermore, it dispels the myth that it’s impossible to wait – and says that the benefits in the long run outweigh the struggles you may face along the way. I would also add that it’s never too late to start afresh – someone may have had sex in the past but this doesn’t mean deciding in the next relationship to wait for marriage is pointless.

So perhaps if like me you face objections to Christianity on the grounds of sex, it might be worth suggesting why the Christian view of it is not quite so absurd after all.

Susannah Clark, Public Theology Researcher

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