Telling Stories Is Not Enough – Discipling Children

Telling Stories Is Not Enough - Discipling Children

Whose responsibility is it to provide spiritual input into children?It depends on your worldview. Most parents say they are responsible for thisbut most parents say they are struggling with this. George Barna[1] found out thatmost parents say they are totally dependent upon the church's help in the spiritual development of their children and I would concur with this view from my experience in two local churches. My observation is that the people who are the most bothered about their children's spiritual development are those who have recently become Christians, who become painfully aware that they don't know what to do to help their children with faith issues.

There are many reasons why parents opt out of doing more to help form their children's faith. They might not be willing - or don't know how - to develop the spiritual dimension of their children. They might not think it's important to invest in spiritual development when children are young. They might simply be too busy - too much on. Statistical evidence from the Barna organisation's research confirms this

″         Fewer than 1 out of every 10 church families read the Bible or pray outside of family meals in a typical month

″         Fewer than 1 out of every 20 church families take part in any worship activity outside of the church service in a typical month 

I would suggest that the UK may follow this pattern - in a nutshell, most Christian parents think that, if they take their child to church once a week, they are fulfilling their spiritual duty.

Let's turn to Scripture:-

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road….

                                                                                                                        Deuteronomy 6:5-9 

We will not hide (truth about God) from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done. He……established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.

                                                                                                                        Psalm 78:4-6

While parents take the primary role, these passages clearly show that the whole faith community has a part to play. This is because God created children, loves them and entrusted them to us. They are our spiritual legacy - and, if we don't take this seriously, we have an enemy who will. Satan has significant plans for every child we encounter. 

I would suggest that our churches might have two aims for children and family ministry:

1. Helping children make a meaningful commitment to Jesus Christ

2. Ensuring good discipleship in order to create a strong faith foundation and to help children think about how their Christian faith relates to everyday life.

Children are on a faith journey: evangelism AND nurture from a loving faith community alongside (ideally) Christian parents is both required. 

Westerhoff's Stages of Faith Development is a really helpful study that suggests that children's faith grows through different stages. It makes sense of a lot of things parents and kids' workers observe!(see succinct summaries in Children and the Holy Spirit, by Chris Leach, or Top Tips on Encouraging Faith to Grow by Scripture Union)

There are some practical things that individuals can do to help disciple children in the Christian faith. Some of these have implications for church leadership teams, not just for parents. 

Some Strategies to Help Children Grow Strong in Faith

1. Rethink how you see children and what they are capable of.
2. Work hard at the Deuteronomy 8 / Psalm 78 model: "TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS" - the things of God; about what he is doing in your life, over a meal, at bedtime or when you are in the car. Make time to talk about your faith.
3. Rethink your devotional time with children. Telling Bible stories of a God of love IS important but as children grow older they want to and need to ask/discuss. They will watch you, test your faith and weigh up how you live against what they are told.

Consider this:- How do I know he is with me if I don't feel he is near? Am I just to believe without substance? How do I know God still does things today like the amazing things in the Bible? Is this rebellious talk? Or are these not genuine questions from a child at the "searching phase" of faith development?

4. Think about the things you teach adults who are new to faith - we need to disciple children too. e.g. how to pray, what worship is, what the death of Jesus achieved, why tithe. Begin to teach these things to your children
5. Involve children in the life of the church - avoid tokenism. e.g. welcoming new children, befriending the lonely, praying for people, sharing stories of God helping them.
6. Recognise giftings in your children. Nurture these.
7. Teach children to recognise God's presence. To know when to quieten down, to demonstrate awe and reverence. Teach children how to listen to God - two-way communication.
8. Give children opportunities to dream, imagine and live out Biblical truths; to enter right into parables for example; to experience stories with their emotions. Let them grasp who they are in Christ; what he has in store for them, what his power and glory is like. Don't worry about this being - at what you think is an inappropriate level - children will appropriate Biblical truth at the right level for them! 

Children need to be allowed to experience God….

"Generation Y is experience-oriented. These kids find meaning and value in immediacy and in living in the moment. Their mantra for life and learning is "I want to try it". ……. They want to use all their senses as they learn, and they want their learning environments to provide experiences, not just facts and formulas. They want to DO in order to learn. And when it comes to experiencing a spiritual life - and they are spiritual people - they want to experience God, not just learn about God. They don't just want to be entertained.

                                                                                                            Ivy Beckwith[2]

I recognise that allowing children to experience God can sometimes expose our lack of experience as adults. We have learned to compensate with logic, rationale and knowledge but little ones can show us some things about the Father! We all need to work together in this awesome task of instructing the next generation.

Lynn Alexander is the Children and Family pastor at Morningside Baptist Church (www.mbc.org.uk). She used to teach a mixture of motivated and disengaged teenagers in inner city Glasgow. She has spent the last seven years as a pastor and team leader to over 200 hundred volunteers as well as a pastor to children and families who have been brought up in the church as well as an increasing number who are either exploring faith from the edge or who have made brand new steps to faith.  Lynn has a theology degree which specialises in all aspects of children and families (www.icc.ac.uk) .

[1] See the excellent DVD or book from www.barna.org - Transforming Your Children into Spiritual Champions

[2] Post-Modern Children's Ministry by Ivy Beckwith