"Congratulations, you're having twins!" - Gemma's story

How did you feel when you discovered you were pregnant?

I’ve always been quite organised. I knew I didn’t want to give birth around Christmas, so I’d been carefully planning the pregnancy. We’d been trying for about seven months, and I’d taken previous tests that had all been negative.

In May, my period was late, so I took a test one day while my husband was out milking, not really expecting it to be positive. To my surprise, it was. I remember thinking, ​“Oh my word…” I briefly considered hiding the test somewhere to surprise my husband, but I couldn’t keep it in and showed him as soon as he came back in.

Sponsored

He was thrilled and super calm (as per usual). At the time, we were living in a mobile home and in the process of building our own house. There would be enough space for my husband, the baby and me, so I wasn’t too worried. This was all part of the plan, or so I thought…

When did you find out that you were carrying twins, and how did you initially react?

My first trimester was really smooth. Apart from feeling tired, everything was going well. In the lead-up to our first scan, I’d been watching lots of new-mum content on TikTok. Weirdly, I kept coming across videos of mums finding out they were having twins.

I asked my husband if he thought we could be having twins, but he laughed it off – it wasn’t something we’d ever really considered. As the midwife started scanning me, she didn’t say anything, and I instantly recognised what I could see on the screen. I’d seen it so many times over the past few weeks on TikTok.

Then she said, ​“Well, what do you think of that? Congratulations – you’re having twins!”

I was shocked and burst into tears – not sad tears, just completely overwhelmed. We were all wearing facemasks, but I could hear my husband laughing. I looked over at him and said, ​“I told you we were having twins!”

Did your feelings change after you’d had time to process the news?

We were really excited. This definitely wasn’t part of the plan, but I loved the idea of the babies always having each other from day one. I loved telling people I was pregnant with twins – their reactions were priceless. We couldn’t wait for them to arrive.

That said, some doubts did start to creep in when we began thinking about space. How were two babies going to fit inside our home?

How did your friends and family react? Were there any patterns in the language people used?

I knew I’d start showing quite quickly, and telling the boys’ grandparents that I was actually carrying twins was so much fun – even though it took them a while to twig why there were two baby grows!

The repeated phrases didn’t really come until after the boys were born: ​“You’ve got your hands full,” ​“double trouble,” and, from complete strangers, ​“Are you going to dress them the same forever?” Everyone had an opinion.

People are fascinated by twins, and that fascination started early. I’d often notice people doing a double take at my growing bump.

What were the stand-out moments in your pregnancy?

I loved having a bump and feeling the twins kicking. We’d try to work out their personalities by seeing who reacted more to music. Twin 1 always kicked more when music was playing, and to this day he’s definitely a big music fan.

I was in awe of what my body was doing – it was amazing – but you’re also the one left with the body changes. People tried to be kind, but it often backfired. I’d hear comments like, ​“You look amazing… for having twins.” I was often left thinking, ​“Is that actually a compliment?”

During this time, I lost my job due to Covid and decided to start a business. I’d also moved away from my friendship circle after getting married, and now I was carrying twins. There were a lot of big changes happening all at once. I was becoming increasingly exhausted – carrying twins is very tiring indeed.
 

What is the best thing about having twins, and what has been the most challenging?

The best thing is watching their personalities develop. They’re identical, yet so different. I remember the first day they smiled at each other; it was the cutest thing ever. They love chasing each other and playing peek-a-boo. I genuinely can’t imagine having one without the other.

When we’re out, I get asked the same questions all the time: ​“When were they born? Are they identical? Are they fraternal?” I’ve got a whole script ready. There’s definitely an unspoken understanding between mums of twins – they just get it.

From day one, being in hospital on my own due to Covid restrictions was really tough. I went in on 22 December to be induced, as both babies were head down. On the evening of the 23^rd, I was told I’d be taken through in the morning to have my waters broken, and my husband was asked to be back by 7am. Then, at 5am, a midwife woke me and said, ​“Ring your husband – you’re going through now.” Thankfully, he arrived just in time.

Once my waters were broken, labour hit immediately. My contractions were less than ten minutes apart from the start. I’m not someone who complains, so staff thought I was coping, but in reality the pain was so intense I couldn’t move from one position. I got my epidural quite late, but the relief was instant – I even decided I wanted some Percy Pigs.

Suddenly, one of the boys’ heart rates dropped, and everything changed. I was rushed in for an emergency C-section. Thankfully, my husband was allowed in, and our two boys arrived safely. They were so calm, but if you picked one up, the other would cry.

One of the biggest challenges was twin guilt – only being able to deal with one baby at a time. They both needed me, and there was only one of me. I hated picking one up and leaving the other in their cot. I’d worry that if I cuddled one, the other would cry shortly after, so I often left them together if they were content.

How have you adjusted to becoming a mum and starting a family?

At the beginning, it was overwhelming – two babies and recovery from an emergency C-section. I’m very independent, but on Christmas morning in the hospital, I knew we couldn’t manage in the mobile home. We moved in with my in-laws.

The reality of caring for two babies was hard, but my husband was incredible and really looked after the three of us. After six weeks, I could drive again, and we started going to baby groups, swimming, and baby sensory. Getting out and meeting other mums helped so much. It’s hard, but getting out makes it easier.

Despite the challenges, the highs make it all worth it. Their smiles and giggles are everything. Watching their relationship grow is so special. It really does take a village to raise children.

A friend coming to help with a feed meant the world when I had to feed both babies at once. People often say, ​“I don’t know how you’re doing this,” but even having an adult conversation can make such a difference. There’s so much love poured into the boys, which is amazing – but there’s also a mum there who might be struggling. I’m much more careful now about how I speak to pregnant friends; simply asking how they are can mean so much.

What do you wish you’d known before pregnancy, and what advice would you give to new mums?

Do what works for you and your family. It’s a learning process. It’s okay to accept help, and no matter what life throws at you, you’ve got this. Take each day as it comes. It may not be easy, but raising children is a massive blessing.