How your church can become a safer space for survivors of violence against women and girls

Violence against women and girls (VAWG) encompasses stalking, rape, sexual assault, domestic abuse, sexual exploitation and harassment. While men can be victims of these crimes, the statistics show women are far more likely to be impacted. Just looking at our news feeds, we see the harrowing and ongoing complexities around the grooming gangs inquiry and the jarring frequency of scandals surrounding key public figures. 

However, VAWG can also impact women subtly, in ways that avoid the headlines. As a woman in my twenties, I don’t know many women without a negative experience in relation to VAWG. That is something to lament. 

As Christians, we cannot ignore this. Our God is a God of justice, and the Bible continually speaks into the sanctity of life and the inherent dignity of each individual as an image bearer of Christ. In a world where social media is becoming increasingly filled with misogynistic content, we must look to the example of Jesus and the way He loved women. 

Sponsored

Restored, a member organisation of the Evangelical Alliance works to support survivors of domestic abuse and is equipping the church to do so effectively. On Wednesday 22 October the charity celebrated 15 years since its launch. 

We heard from its founders, survivors, Bekah Legg the current CEO, and the domestic abuse commissioner Dame Nicole Jacobs about the work of the charity and the incredible impact it has had on women – and men – over the last 15 years.

Here are three things that particularly struck me about the work of Restored and the fight to end VAWG: 

Restored conducted research into domestic abuse in church communities and found that 1 in 4 churchgoers who participated in the study had experienced domestic abuse. This shocking statistic is an incredibly important reminder that our churches are not immune to domestic abuse; women can be living in incredibly difficult, abusive situations without anyone knowing.

We heard from survivors throughout the evening, and the complexity of sharing one’s domestic abuse experience with the church is difficult.

Trustee of Restored Elisabeth Roberts shared her story with me and said:

“I’m sure there were lots of people who would have been empathetic and supportive, but I wasn’t even willing to give them that chance because you feel a failure and shame, so I went through it very alone […] I was so terrified that family, church, faith would force me back to my abuser.”

It can be incredibly painful for a woman to disclose her experiences to her church community due to the stigma of divorce; many women live in silence and can end up having to leave their churches. This is why it is so important for churches to be safe places that can love survivors well. It is not simply about supporting women once they have shared their experience but proving that the church has the safeguarding and pastoral plans in place to support women well, so survivors feel able to speak up at all.

We would encourage those in church leadership to check out Restored Beacons to learn how your church can become a safe place for women. 

The survivor’s network at Restored (which started with four women and is now the largest in the UK) brings together women with shared and lived experience of domestic abuse. It was incredible to hear from people who have benefitted from the network, resources, calls and retreats. The value of these things cannot be overstated. One woman said, ​“Finding Restored was the difference of me making it or not.” That is a testament to the power of community, listening and support in a safe and trusted environment.

At the time of launching the organisation, one of the founders noticed that it was almost entirely secular, feminist organisations working to tackle VAWG. 

This endorsement shows just how powerful it can be when Christians get involved in these issues. 

Restored understand that engaging men is vital in conducting an effective response to VAWG. Their First Man Standing resource helps men explore what the Bible has to say about masculinity and relationships – more than 1,000 men have taken the pledge to respect women and call out other men’s disrespectful actions. 

Sadly, we are far from the point at which an organisation such as Restored is no longer required. This is why it is important we look to the character of our Lord. He knows us inside out, even knowing the numbers of hairs on our heads. He cares deeply about injustice, sees every tear and hears every cry. 

As seen in Genesis 1, God made man and woman with equal value, and throughout the Bible we see just how much women are valued by Him. The story of Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4 exemplifies the Lord’s heart for women. In a society of systematic prejudice, He cherished and honoured her. This leaves us to ask, is the church doing so as well? Are we equipped to care for those who are feeling broken, ashamed, hurt and lost? 

I encourage you to check out the work of this important ministry and to think about how your church or community enables survivors to find healing and hope in our Saviour. As an advocacy team we will continue to engage with the government as they seek to halve VAWG in the next decade. We are awaiting their strategy for doing this and will record a Cross Section special in response and provide a briefing. In the meantime, we would value your prayers as we seek to organise meetings between ministers, MPs and Restored’s team. We know the church can offer a holistic response and we want policymakers to see the incredible work of partner churches in tackling VAWG.