“It takes a village to raise a child.” It’s a phrase we’ve all heard, but I wonder if it now evokes more nostalgia than reality? While technology means we can connect instantly with people across the world, many people feel increasingly isolated. We know fewer neighbours and live further from extended family. Some of life’s biggest milestones are now marked by a stream of social media notifications, where emojis can all too easily replace real, smiling faces.
As I write this, I am expecting my first child and have been eagerly gleaning wisdom from older family members. In a recent conversation, my 90-year-old nannie shared that while pregnancy was spoken about in hushed tones in the 1960s and 70s, there was also a deep sense of belonging and shared care, rooted in the community where a child was raised.
For many people today, this kind of community can feel unfamiliar. Yet the church remains uniquely placed to be a modern-day ‘village’ in an ever-changing society, where people, whether married or single, with children or without, can belong, be known and supported.
From the moment we shared our pregnancy news, this baby has been loved and valued by our church family, both within the church building and beyond. Conversations have repeatedly reflected a shared conviction that this unborn child has inherent dignity and immeasurable worth.
Our baby, although not yet born, already belongs to a community that prays for them, loves them and is looking forward to meeting them. They will not arrive as a stranger.”
Friends enthusiastically celebrated the announcement, and other parents have generously shared wisdom and lessons learned through their own experiences. Children offered wonderfully direct comments that reveal a profound understanding of God as our Creator. I couldn’t help but laugh when a five-year-old girl approached me and earnestly said, “I hope God is making a girl for you, because girls are the best”.
Our baby, although not yet born, already belongs to a community that prays for them, loves them and is looking forward to meeting them. They will not arrive as a stranger. It is important to acknowledge that this celebration of life and pregnancy within the church has not been everyone’s experience.
In teaching and leadership, and in our individual lives, churches have not always modelled the truth that both lives in pregnancy matter to God. Regardless of circumstance, women and unborn children bear God’s image and deserve respect and compassion. In a world that often devalues and dehumanises mothers and unborn children, churches can, and some like mine already do, model something beautiful. They can be places where life is celebrated and protected, from its very beginning to its natural end.
I can see God’s design for community clearly when we gather to worship on a Sunday morning. One of my favourite moments is when buzz and chatter fill the space as babies, children and young people are taken to the ministries created especially for them. This is not because I want them to leave, but because this ordinary moment captures something extraordinary about the church. Parents are reminded that they are not raising their children alone. Volunteers embrace the privilege and calling of passing on the faith to the next generation. Older generations look on with joy as decades of faithful prayer bear fruit in young lives.
The beauty of the church’s intergenerational nature is that everyone has something to contribute and something to receive. Throughout scripture, God’s people are an intergenerational family, passing faith from one generation to the next. As children are welcomed into the heart of that story from conception, families are strengthened by the wider community of faith. The church was never intended to consist of disconnected individuals pursuing private faith, but to be the living expression of God’s design for community.
The church was never intended to consist of disconnected individuals pursuing private faith, but to be the living expression of God's design for community.”
When it comes to enabling both lives to thrive, pre- and post-birth, the local church has an opportunity to offer something beautifully practical alongside its conviction that life begins at conception. It can be the place where both mother and baby are genuinely known, celebrated and supported throughout pregnancy and beyond.
This is already happening in many communities. According to our Talking Toddlers research, around 80% of families with children under five attend a church-based activity, most commonly a toddler group. These spaces offer far more than soft play and snacks. They become places where parents can ask questions about parenthood and faith, share concerns and find genuine connection beyond the curated image of ‘perfect motherhood’ often presented on social media – an ideal that can leave many women feeling inadequate or ‘unqualified’ for motherhood.
The church cannot solve every challenge facing families, but it can be the village that so many people feel they have lost. It can be the place where father, mother and baby are celebrated before birth, where parents are supported through the joys and challenges of raising children and where every generation recognises the distinct role they can play in creating a space where people can flourish.
The village may look different today than it did in my nannie’s generation, but through every kind word, sincere question and genuine offer of help, I am reminded that it has not disappeared. It lives on wherever God’s people faithfully welcome, cherish and support both mother and child, before and after birth.
Both Lives Podcast
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