Phil Knox 2

Phil Knox

Phil Knox is an evangelism and missiology senior specialist at the Evangelical Alliance and is trying to be a good friend. His book on the subject, The Best of Friends, was published on 16 February 2023. You can read his first book, Story Bearer at www.storybearer.com

I didn’t think churches would talk about loneliness – but I’ve been blown away

8 February 2024At the end of last year, the World Health Organisation declared that loneliness is a ‘global public health concern.’ For many in our world, this is a matter of life and death. The global phenomenon of loneliness is everywhere – even in our churches. At their best, churches are glorious crucibles of connection, but I would guess too that most of us have felt the ache of loneliness in crowded coffee times at the end of services and many of us struggle to progress beyond superficial conversation…

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Friendship Jesus' Way: Why friendship is part of the God story

3 July 2023“I’m joined today by Phil Knox” he introed, “who thinks that we need to talk more about friendship, and that the example of Jesus might have some things to teach us…” I took a deep sigh, bracing myself for an attack on the whole premise of the book, but was pleasantly surprised, when he continued, “Phil, I think you’re right.” What I discovered that day, and continue to do so in the many days since, is that the world is so desperate for a conversation about friendship that they will even have…

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How to be a great friend: look at the Easter story

3 April 2023I have two sons. Each week they attend Sunday school at our local church. Occasionally, their enthusiasm and tendency to talk too much (no idea where they get that from) means they miss the question the teacher asks. I have instructed them in this instance to simply put your hand in the air and say, ‘Jesus.’ In my experience, (I was once an enthusiastic and chatty child who missed the question) if they do this, they will be correct 90% of the time. When it comes to answering the question of…

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Why we need the best of friends

16 February 2023Why friendship, why now? I am convinced God is speaking to His church about this issue. In so many ways, friendship is timeless – we will always reflect the relational nature and design of our Creator. We were made for it. But at the same time, friendship is timely – it is the need of the hour. Loneliness levels are increasing, we have more connections but struggle for depth, our world is divided and fractured. We need the best of friends. Friendship matters for discipleship. We cannot follow…

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Why is friendship good for me?

19 January 2023In 1950s America, there was a mystery in the small Pennsylvanian town of Roseto. Mortality rates were a third lower than in the rest of the United States. Heart disease was almost non-existent in otherwise high-risk groups. No one could work out why. Water sources were analysed, lifestyles were examined. It wasn’t their diet – wine, cigars and meatballs were consumed with abandon. It wasn’t the healthcare or the air quality. It was the relationships. Three to four generations lived under one…

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Building friendships with introverts: An extrovert's guide

2 January 2023World Introvert Day falls on 2 January. I love two things about this, firstly, that there is an international day for introverts. Secondly, that it takes place immediately after New Year, in an under-the-radar and subtle way that would be deeply appreciated by those it is celebrating.

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Three ways to be a better friend this Christmas

6 December 2022Reconnect There is a phenomenon in friendship called 'relational decay', based on the notion that the sands of time and miles of geography do to our connections, what the failure of brushing and lack of dental hygiene do to our teeth. Our diaries resemble peak commuter trains, with little space to maintain relationships. Enter Christmas. The days around 25 December in my calendar are an oasis of head and heart space. Seasonal gatherings give precious opportunity to reconnect and reignite…

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The power of hello

17 November 2022The smallest gestures can have the biggest impacts. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it feels like the world is creaking at the moment. We have lurched from a pandemic, to the threat of World War III, to a cost of living crisis. The Collins Dictionary word of the year is ‘permacrisis’, an extended period of instability and insecurity. Against the backdrop of an ‘always on’ world, in which we touch our phones an estimated 2,617 times a day, to respond to emails, instant messages, breaking…

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Standing on the shoulders of giants

28 September 2022You don’t need to scroll too far down your news feed to find a story that points to the divisions in our society. Our fractured nation is full of ruptures across divides of politics, race, wealth and worldviews. But one area of division that is often overlooked is that between the generations. I have become convinced that God cares deeply about it and that the church is a significant antidote to the problem. Half of young and middle-aged adults say that they do not have a friend over 70.* Among…

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"I think I’ve just seen my sister for the last time."

6 September 2022When standing alongside bereaved friends, we feel helpless and often don’t feel like we are doing the right thing. Here is some useful advice on how to be a good friend during their time of grief: The power of presence. At times of deep sadness, sometimes we want to be alone. But often we want our closest friends with us, even if they do nothing. I have felt the sheer power of sitting in silence with a friend as I lamented loss. God’s presence is amazing, but sometimes we can also benefit from…

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Why I'm celebrating International Friendship Day

28 July 2022Have you ever wondered what makes friendship so wonderful? The power of friendship is atomic. We were created to connect, crafted for community, designed with unity in mind. When God created the cosmos and its custodians, eight times He declared that “it is good.” The first thing that He finds to be “not good” is for man to be alone. Mother Teresa described loneliness as the leprosy of the west. In the UK over the last couple of years, the number of lonely people has increased from one in 20 to…

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